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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509795">Now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/imimmortalagain/pseuds/imimmortalagain'>imimmortalagain</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you cooled my mind that burned with longing - Sappho fragment 48 [18]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bittersweet, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt and comfort, Love Confessions, im sorry ive been having emotions, ish, post Revolution of the Daleks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:02:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>684</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28509795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/imimmortalagain/pseuds/imimmortalagain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you cooled my mind that burned with longing - Sappho fragment 48 [18]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718578</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The bed dipped beneath their weight, Yaz curled into the Doctor’s side, nose pressed long against her neck, while the Doctor held her still. The Doctor didn’t smell like she used to, didn’t smell like herself. The unfamiliar twinge twisted and curled in her nose and Yaz tried to grow accustomed to it. But it was hard. So much had changed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Doctor pulled Yaz’s body closer to hers. Warmth permeated from skin to skin. The contact was electric. “You’re quiet.” Her voice was unbelievably soft, drifting into the air around them closer to an observation than a conversation starter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’d been unable to fall asleep. It was their first night back together, after a tiring day of Daleks and yet they just sat there, wrapped up in one another. Soaking in the presence of something they’d been without for far too long. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought—” Yaz sighed, her breath tickling the fine hairs on the Doctor’s neck, before pressing her face further into the Doctor’s neck. “I started wishing we’d never met, wishing that it’d never happened, that I didn’t have to live with the knowledge of what I were living without.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This were never going to last forever.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait,” The Doctor said, a thumb rubbing soft circles into the exposed patch of Yaz’s shoulder, “This were never going to last forever but it doesn’t mean that it should never have happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do I live without you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yaz, you’re the most brave, courageous, and stunning person I’ve ever met. You’ll figure it out. You’ll endure.” The Doctor squeezed her arm as if hoping to emphasize the point without fluctuating her voice to disrupt the atmosphere. “Ghosts are very real, Yaz, not physically, sure, but when you love someone you leave ‘em with a piece of you, a shard of your soul gets lodged way down deep in ‘em. And when you leave? They thrive on that. Keep you alive. Some version of you is still real to them. Still alive. You had such an affect on their life that they can’t help but see you in it, even when you’re gone.” Her voice flirted with the hyperness of an excited explanation and the soberness of someone who had lived through it. Someone of which this story was far more than real to. “When we part ways, and you’re out in the world without me, I’ll always be there. And at first it’ll hurt. ‘Cause at first it’s just a reminder of what you can’t have. But soon it becomes bittersweet. To think that someone was such a large aspect of your life that they’ve forever changed the course of it? A part of me will always be there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yaz swallowed, trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. The Doctor was right, of course. In the ten months away she had manifested in that TARDIS so many times. And it hurt. And that’s when the painful roots of regret started taking hold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a handful of years time, this will be over and we won’t be here, but that doesn’t erase now. It just gives it meaning. We’re all going to be sad later but it doesn’t mean we should starve ourselves of happiness because sadness means nothing without happiness. There are no happy endings. But there are happy stories and a sad ending shouldn’t ruin that. So be here. With me. Please. Because I don’t want you to mourn the time we have left before we even live it, okay? Make it mean something.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And the first tear fell, hot on her cheek and it seemed to sizzle against the Doctor’s neck. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yaz took a breath and another tear fell, “No.” She pulled the Doctor closer. “But I will be.” She sighed and the tears kept coming, “I love you.” The words carved through the silence and straight to the Doctor’s heart. And all the broken pain fell into place, the puzzle coming together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too.” The Doctor leaned down to leave a kiss on her forehead.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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